No Game No Life, Vol. 9 Page 4

  “I have longed to see you, Spieler. Come, let us build our love.”

  Shiro turned to stone, while Steph covered her mouth and blushed. (What was she so happy about?) This sudden whisper of devotion caused Sora to make just one wish with all his strength before shutting down his consciousness:

  Begone, foul memory…

  Sora’s consciousness drifted to the surface… It was a feeling he knew well, the feeling of waking up. He sighed in relief.

  …That was the worst dream ever. He must have been overexerting himself. Better rest a bit. But now—

  “……Brother…… Brother, wake up…”

  That’s right. See, Shiro was calling him. Time to forget about stupid dreams and answer his little sister’s call. Sora smiled gently and slowly opened his eyes—he’d see Shiro, and probably Steph, and…

  “Remonstration: This unit will repeat once. Transfer command. Current Einzig lacks aptitude for mission.”

  “I shall repeat myself as many times as it takes: No. The Spieler’s chastity belongs to me alone.”

  Sora also saw the man who had whispered his love to him bickering with a female Ex Machina.

  Ah, how cruel. To think that not only was it not a dream, but that his memory remained intact—

  “It belongs to me alone!! Wait, did I just announce I’ll be a virgin forever?!”

  Sora’s wholehearted curse shook the castle as he jumped up.

  “…Oh… Oh, good… Brother, you’re—you’re…alive…!”

  “Of course I am!! What could be worse than having a heart attack when a guy confesses his feelings to me?! Hey, asshole!!”

  Grabbing Shiro, who was crying in relief, Sora pointed to Einzig and bellowed on.

  “You’re gay, a pretty boy, and an android?! That’s overkill! D00d, have some self-contr—”

  He stopped and took another look around at the Ex Machinas before starting up again.

  “And you’re a butler? You’re going all out, aren’t you? Just who’s your target audience here?!”

  That analytical, scrutinizing presence was now gone. This was not the macabre, solemn black garb of the ranks of god-killing machines.

  …Well, their garb was still solemn, and black…but in the manner of a tailcoat and maid costumes.

  So basically…one butler robot and twelve maid robots.

  Plus, they were… How to describe it…? Overall…slack. It was their expressions or something that gave off this inescapable whiff of a pile of junk.

  Sora wanted to scream, Give me back my dignity!

  Einzig, the gay butler, answered:

  “Hmm… Though perhaps your question was rhetorical, I can only answer that the audience I am targeting is you.”

  “Oh yeah? Well, you missed by a mile! I don’t know what you’re here for, but leave your maid robots and go home!!”

  Einzig smiled at the belligerent Sora as if to comfort him. As if seeing through his continued roiling to the panic inside, he spoke.

  “Fear not, Spieler. We have come to assist you. We are your allies.”

  ……

  Einzig’s announcement only caused Sora to clutch at his head.

  —I can’t take this anymore. I just can’t figure it out—why they’re here, why they’re junk, why they’re “allies”! And why, most of all, they’ve got a gay pretty boy butler and maid robots!!

  Sora lost control and screamed the magic words:

  “Jibriemoon!! Help meeeee!!”

  Not a moment later:

  “Here I am! From one ‘Good morning’ to the next, I am Jibril, overseeing the lives of my masters! Did you call me to serve?! Or to slay?!”

  Jibril, the Flügel who had been remotely projecting Holou, appeared from the sky. Full of excitement, a smile spread wide across her face, she took one look at her surroundings, and—

  “Oh my! Good heavens… Ex Machinas! I should expect no less from my masters. What luck you have for finding rare items!”

  —neither party hesitated.

  “You’ve called me to slay! Wait just four seconds— Oh?”

  “Deployment: Irregular Number elimination sequence— Error. Requesting factor identification.”

  Jibril produced a blade of light, while the Ex Machinas simultaneously deployed their massive weapons—and they all froze, seemingly confused. Apparently, they’d completely forgotten about the Ten Covenants.

  “…Look, am I asking for too much? Isn’t there any sane person who can explain to us what’s going on?” Sora pleaded.

  With the next Great War that had been about to start before his very eyes forcibly canceled, Sora gazed into the distance and thought, Tet. Sorry for trolling you. He and Shiro offered a prayer of thanks to the One True God for the Ten Covenants.

  —Ahem. Someone cleared her throat.

  “…Ex Machina, the god-killing race that slew the god of war Artosh in the Great War.” Jibril smiled as if to assert that she was sane. “They also annihilated half the Flügel. Truly the most saaaavage and barbaric of killing machines! ”

  Look who’s talking. Weren’t you the one who was just making a seamless transition into a genocide? All three Immanities looked at Jibril, unconvinced, but she continued on.

  “But it seems that the spoils were more than they deserved. Posthaste, they were all but exterminated.” Casually, Jibril added, “No new units have been observed since then. It is speculated that they lost their ability to produce new ones.”

  “…Wait. You mean…the ability to reproduce?”

  She dropped this critical information on everyone way too casually. Sora furrowed his brow as he checked. Jibril nodded.

  “Indeed. Since the Great War, individual units have been seen wandering about on rare occasion, but they’ve always been units that existed at the end of the War. It’s about time they were designated an endangered species, don’t you think? ”

  ……

  In other words, these were the ones who massacred Jibril’s creator and kin. And they were face-to-face with someone who all but annihilated their race. Not to mention, this wasn’t a case of their ancestors having fought each other… It was they themselves…

  “…Uh, yeah… I guess there’s some bad blood there…”

  “……”

  —The Great War was a long time ago. It’s over. Water under the bridge.

  …It was hard to say that to the very parties who had nearly killed one another off. Sora, Shiro, and Steph screwed up their faces and looked down.

  “What? I have never lost to an Ex Machina, nor do I harbor them any resentment,” Jibril said blankly.

  The three of them stared at her, wide-eyed.

  “I am well aware of the respect I must pay to such an able foe.”

  “But weren’t you just talking about slaying them?”

  Seeing Jibril’s smug face, Sora couldn’t help but take a shot.

  “…We killed them. It is inevitable that they would come to kill us. Why should such natural order demand resentment?”

  “But weren’t you just talking about eliminating her?!”

  Seeing Einzig’s similarly smug face, Sora was about to deliver his comeback, but…

  “…? Of course. I shall kill them with the utmost of my respect, hospitality, and vigor.”

  “Fear not. We are now capable of permanently disabling all functions of the Regular Number without killing her.”

  “What’s the difference between permanently disabling all of someone’s functions and killing—? Uh, never mind.”

  —We’re not mad. We’re just gonna kill ’em. The humans gave up on debating this theory and took it with strained smiles.

  “In any case, allow me to correct you on one fine detail, Irregular Number. We have not lost the ability to reproduce. We have only been waiting for the right partner,” the Ex Machina proudly stated.

  It’s not that I can’t get married; I just haven’t found the one. Einzig’s assertion felt strangely familiar.

  “And that,
indeed, is what brought us here…”

  Suddenly, he looked at Sora and the others with a totally straight face, in turn causing their expressions to tense.

  Ex Machina was on the brink of extinction. And why were they here, right now, in front of them? And what did they mean, “allies”? Depending on their answer… Sora, Shiro, and even Jibril seemed cautious.

  “Yes, you are the one, O Spieler—who now calls himself Sora, as I understand…” Amidst everyone’s stares, Einzig took another step toward Sora. “Yes, it is you, Spieler!! Come, let us build our love. Let us reproduce!!”

  “Not this agaaaain!! And don’t strip! Are you broken or something?!”

  At the sight of the stripping sex robot, Sora covered Shiro’s eyes and shouted out what he half knew to be true. They were from the Great War—six thousand years ago. Antiques? They were artifacts.

  “…Indeed. I have already exceeded my service life by five thousand nine hundred eighty-two years. Though I might utilize sleep mode to the fullest to extend it, functional degradation is inevitable—but fear not, Spieler!” Einzig paused his disrobing and smiled. “My thoughts and my love are still in perfect working order!”

  “If your thoughts are designed to lead to this behavior, that’s an even bigger problem!!” Sora clutched his head and screamed at Einzig, who had resumed stripping.

  “What do you think, Masters? Shall we go ahead and kill him for now?”

  “…Jibril, I, permit it…!”

  “What good will your permission do?! P-please, let us all calm—”

  Jibril and Shiro, spurred to bloodlust, and Steph, struggling to soothe them—

  —were interrupted by a whooshing sound followed by a loud crash. The stripper had been thrust into the wall like a stake…

  “Vote: Progress stalled. Responsible unit temporarily stripped of command. Command inherited by current unit.”

  …and stepping forth was the female Ex Machina who had been arguing with Einzig. Like the others, she was clad in a maid costume. She looked like a human girl in her midteens, though she was a machine. She, too, had that perfect doll face. The female Ex Machina lowered her head, capped in ineffably unnatural violet hair, courteously plucked up her skirt and curtsied, and continued.

  “Apology: Severe bug observed in subset of population.”

  “It’s severe, all right. Someone’s liable to get sued for this—but wait, did you just finish him off…?”

  It had happened too fast for him to see, but he presumed she had kicked him into the wall. There the half-naked pervert was, twitching—not a very tasteful wall ornament, but it made Sora wonder.

  …Doesn’t this infringe on the Covenants? Is this that consent thing?

  “Addendum: Ex Machina units are synchronized in cluster, lack individual identity. Self-harm allowed by Covenants. Also, forceful contact of this unit’s leg determined to be an unfortunate accident. This unit is absolved of any wrongdoing.”

  …So it was like how processors in a parallel configuration were counted as one? In any case, the Ex Machinas had an agreement—so it was fine.

  The mechanical girl who had eliminated the provocative pervert continued to speak.

  “Objective: Requesting cooperation. Purpose: Preventing extinction of Ex Machina.”

  —Ahhh! The savior of coherent discourse has come! Sora was overjoyed.

  “Hmm… By all means, I would hear your tale, but first—may I hear your name?”

  “Apology: This unit lacks a name. Apologies.”

  Sora asked for the name of his savior, but she merely lowered her head.

  “Disclosure: Unit identification number Ec001Bf9Ö48a2. Role Alt-Emircluster Befehler 1.”

  …These guys could stand to be more user-friendly.

  “Right… That’s too long, so I’m gonna call you Emir-Eins. How’s that?”

  “………………”

  …Uh, uhhh… Was that the wrong thing to say? The long silence began to make Sora doubt himself.

  “Confirmation: Unit name…‘Emir-Eins’ applied. This unit looks forward to prolonged mutual acquaintance.”

  Sora and Shiro looked puzzled as Emir-Eins bowed her head deeply.

  “Disclosure: Supplement to explanation provided by Irregular Number. Ex Machina was devastated in Great War.”

  But Emir-Eins raised her head again and went on coolly.

  “Continuation: Final Battle damage report. Four thousand eight hundred seven units impacted by Godly Smite and Union onslaught. Five (including current unit) survived. Four thousand eight hundred two vaporized. Next: Nine thousand one hundred seventy-seven units engaged Artosh camp. Ninety-nine point six nine percent lost. Twenty-eight units avoided irreparable damage. Result: Remaining units exhibited severe cascading faults in memory, records, personality retention. Probable cause: Accumulation of logical errors due to illogical operations in destruction of ether—”

  What she described was the price of deicide. It defied imagination. The race that had become strong to a theoretically infinite extent had destroyed half the Flügel and challenged a god with a force of almost fifteen thousand…and only twenty-eight of them survived. The sheer magnitude of it made Sora and the others gulp audibly.

  “Conclusion: After aging, current operational unit count thirteen.”

  Thus, Ex Machina arrived at their current number, she explained.

  “Issue: Ex Machina reproductive function available. But said errors placed hardware locks on all units. Reproduction enabled only for authorized user.”

  —Right. Sora mumbled, nodding softly.

  “…That sucks.”

  “Acknowledgment: Condition sucks.”

  Despite Emir-Eins’s echo of acknowledgment, Sora and Shiro looked at each other with relief.

  It appeared that the worst-case scenario they had envisioned when the phone rang—that an all-powerful enemy who had seen their hand had appeared—was not the case. Einzig’s declaration of “allies” and Emir-Eins’s request for “cooperation” stood at face value. The Ex Machinas wanted them to be their allies and cooperate so that Ex Machina could avoid extinction. And of course they, for their own part, didn’t want a race to go extinct. That would be creepy, for one thing. But even apart from that, if a Race Piece was lost, their game would become unwinnable. Besides, that “rewriting space” thing they did would make for the best stage equipment ever. With this race as their ally, Sora and Shiro’s issues with Holou’s concerts would vanish. Why not cooperate? Why not…indeed…

  “…………”

  But there were still several things weighing on Sora’s mind that he couldn’t easily shake off, to begin with, the questions he’d had from the beginning: Why now? Why them? He didn’t get what they were going on about, either: What did they mean by “Spieler”? It sounded like it could mean many things.

  “Analogies: Puppy soaked by rain. Candle flickering in wind. Sad. Can Master ignore?”

  “—Uh, no, I guess I wouldn’t… But…”

  Sora considered this with evident caution, but Emir-Eins nodded. “Good.” And continued with a placid smile, but without light in her eyes.

  “Testimony: This unit will die unless you make babies with her.”

  “First there’s a perverted pretty boy, and now there’s a psycho babe? Don’t threaten me!!” Sora wailed, feeling betrayed by the one person he’d thought to be an oasis of sense. “And anyway, how am I supposed to make babies with a machine?! I mean, how do you guys reproduce?!” As he hid behind Jibril, Shiro tucked under his arm, Sora let loose the biggest question of all. At the very least, he shouldn’t have to “build love”—much less with a gay robot!

  Jibril answered him as if she’d just remembered.

  “According to the rare descriptions available of Ex Machina, it seems that two dissimilar units connect their ‘production mechanisms,’ compare data, and produce a unit adapted to the conditions demanded of the next generation… If I remember correctly.”

  “Then th
ey both have to be Ex Machinas, right?!”

  “Denial: Soul observed. Non–Ex Machina data compatible.”

  …Uh, all right. Must be like how Jibril was saying she could have Sora’s baby “virtually.” That was how Sirens reproduced, too. But in those cases, they were saying they had to mix souls or something.

  “…So how would you get the data? Not some mechanical trick?”

  Sora seemed worried about being like cattle to an alien, having any manner of bizarre contraptions mounted upon him. Emir-Eins answered with a confident nod to ease his worries.

  “Boast: Hole assembled for Master. Conventional sexual intercourse supported.”

  “Wait, why’d you do that?! At least make it a little mechanical!”

  Why was this world so…y’know…extreme?!

  “Reply: Update based on past failures. Performance excellent. Probably.”

  Sora wondered what these “failures” entailed, but he didn’t ask.

  “Remarks: Initial plan involved simulation of hole of female Immanity. However, data insufficient. Therefore, real-time feedback model adopted based on responses of Master to stimulation. Internal structure, strength, pressure, viscosity, temperature, virtual pulse, and secretion optimized continuously. Final assembly designed exclusively for maximum pleasure.”

  ……

  “Seduction: This unit is brand-new. Would Master care for a demonstration?”

  .

  “…Brother…why’d you go, silent…?”

  “I—I—I—I didn’t go silent! Nor was I subtly tempted!” Sora shouted, growing flustered under Shiro’s gaze.

  “Unit! You dare to steal the Spieler from me?!”

  “‘Steal’ my ass! I’m not yours!! Get back in the wall, you piece of junk!!”

  “Agreement: Master is free to love whom he chooses.”

  “Didn’t you just try to steal my freedom with a threat?! …Wait. Could it be that this guy—?”

  An unpleasant idea crossed Sora’s mind.

  …This guy, Einzig. Does he…have one, too? A hole?