No Game No Life, Vol. 4 Page 12

  “…It’s your precept.”

  Blatantly ignoring Steph’s contribution to the conversation, Sora pointed to the side.

  “Anyway, we’ve got an over-sixty here, too, so it’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Oh, Master, to be precise, I am 6,407 years of age.”

  Having examined her own clothes with curiosity, Jibril answered with a smile. In Jibril’s case, the wings at her hips pulled up at her top, flashing her belly button, which was also subsequent description omitted. Meanwhile—

  “…By the way, may I ask one question?”

  “Mm—what is it, Steph?”

  “Why am I the only one dressed like you and Mr. Ino—in the boys’ uniform?”

  —Yes. Shiro, Jibril, the Shrine Maiden, and Izuna were all wearing the girls’ sailor suit, but Steph alone wore the same blazer as Sora and Ino. Nodding deeply, Sora revealed the mystery.

  “Good question—there’s a saying, ‘To shoot the general, first shoot his horse.’”

  “…What?”

  All eyes were suddenly focused on Sora, who explained with a serious mien:

  “—First, why I didn’t dress everyone up like guys: two reasons.”

  He raised a finger, ticking off his reasoning—

  “One, if you’re going for the main heroine, you wanna get her friends—so having girls helping you is important.”

  “…You sure know how to talk like a cad with a fine placid expression…”

  The Shrine Maiden spoke for everyone rolling their eyes as she offered this feedback. Paying her no mind, though, and raising a second finger, Sora continued.

  “And two—you gotta consider the potential trap that the queen isn’t interested in guys in the first place.”

  “…Didn’t I say that the queen is looking for a man with the ability to reproduuuce?”

  “You presented no compelling evidence.”

  To Plum, looking cynical as well, Sora declared this decisively and went on.

  “Now, as for the reason I put Steph in drag—Steph has high social skills and will make a fine informant.”

  Had it been a matter strictly of political ability, the Shrine Maiden could also have been a candidate—but. Sora’s intuition told him that Steph would be better in terms of personal relationships.

  “I wanted a guy friend who was as in the know as Yoshio, with the friending chops, too—but…”

  Sora turned back to Steph and heaved a deep sigh.

  “…If I gotta compare…you’re more like Ijuuin…”

  “—What? I don’t really follow…”

  —Indeed, with red hair and balanced features, a dashing young man appearing to be of a higher social class— (The cross-dressing Steph was utterly puzzled.) Free of sarcasm, seemingly unaware of his appearance but accomplished in both physical and literary feats, while even appearing to have a domestic side. Skilled in conversation, bold in practical action, and even—strong willed, his gaze clear. Still, behind it all, showing a glimpse of deep kindness, even forbearance—such a fine young man.

  —Frankly speaking, Sora had the impulse to punch such an enemy of the unreal world—a good-looking guy with a life—and again he sighed.

  “…Ijuuin? Who is that?”

  “…From the first game…don’t, worry about it…”

  “…Come to think of it, wouldn’t it be faster just to seduce her with Steph instead of Gramps?”

  “Huh? Wait, I can’t seduce a lady—and, I mean…So-Sora—”

  “…Ah, it seems the rite has been fully buiiilt!”

  “Ahem, now let us play the opening once more—and then we will bring in the queen’s consciousness as wellll.”

  Simultaneous to Plum’s pronouncement, a giant screen was projected before them. The crappy trailer that earlier had been injected into their brains played along to a bouncy soundtrack. After showing pinups of the school and classrooms along with narration, the scene moved to the courtyard, where a giant crimson coral formation extended countless branches radially, the camera capturing it at a slightly upward angle. The narrator explained calmly:

  Kagayaki Marine High School… It is said that those who confess their love under its legendary coral find true love—

  At the familiar phrasing, Sora groaned, his eyelids at half-mast.

  “…Hey. A legendary tree is one thing, but ‘legendary coral,’ what the hell is that…?”

  Confessing under an old tree made sense. The sound of bells and a hill swept with flittering cherry blossoms, okay. But under the “legendary coral”? Are you freaking kidding?

  “I don’t know what to sayyy… There aren’t any trees in the ocean, you seeee…”

  —And, actually, coral’s pretty gross when you look at it closely, right? Sora thought, but, regardless of his opinion on the matter, the opening continued.

  —After a while, the boring narration ended, and now pop music played. Against a pink background, under the “legendary coral,” there could be seen a mermaid with long, billowing blue hair.

  —The queen. The sailor-suited queen—Laila—swam under the giant red coral formation as if quietly dancing. The brilliant uniform enwreathing her supple limbs flapped in the brine, further eliciting the queen’s seductive charms, as even the scaled tail that extended from her short skirt gave off an impression of luster as it moved the water. The queen, her gaze somehow melancholic, stretched her hands toward the sky as if longing for something, and—

  “La”

  Sang.

  —All who heard her voice drew a collective breath.

  “Gracious…!”

  “Hmm, this is something… A beauty is a beauty even in her voice.”

  Steph and Ino voiced their astonishment. The queen who could entrance most anyone who merely saw her visage—. Her singing voice possessed a beauty to make the souls of listeners tingle with narcotic pleasure.

  …All except for Sora and Shiro. The two watched the screen with disinterested demeanors. “I’m starting to get the feeling we just have weird tastes…”

  Her voice aside, the pop song and the video did not remotely complement the queen’s sensual poses and wistful expression. Well, in the first place, she was entirely too sexy not to look ridiculous in a sailor suit. It was like one of those “thirty-something” women (ha) trying to cosplay as a high school girl—

  “Well, to each his own, I guess…but you’re telling us to conquer that?”

  Just can’t get the motivation… Sora subtly sighed.

  DAY 1

  —Suddenly, a field displaying “Day 1” appeared in everyone’s vision. It was a familiar sight to Sora and Shiro, but Plum explained for the sake of the rest.

  “Umm, I think you should see several ‘commands’ displayed. These can be used to select from a certain range of actiooons… For instance, you can give giiifts.”

  At Plum’s words, Sora tilted his head. “I thought you said this was a real-life romance game? And there are no hidden parameters like Affection…?”

  “…Brother.” Shiro held something out to the mumbling Sora. “…‘Gift’…command… Brother, did your, Affection, go up?” Shiro asked with anticipatory eyes, but Sora responded with a wry smile.

  “Sorry, Sister. My affection for you is already maxed out; it’s too late—”

  “Then, Master, if I may be so bold—”

  Jibril jumped in. Averting her eyes from this exchange, Plum continued her explanation.

  “Um… Among the commands displayed, you should see two heart icooons.”

  They all checked and found them immediately. Lower left-hand side of the command panel. There was an ordinary heart symbol, and then there was another with a plus sign added.

  “These hearts represent the ‘Confess’ commaaand… It is up to you how to confess your love, but, if you select this and are rejected, it will be considered a loooss… And the one with a plus sign—”

  “Is your ‘love spell’—the cheat command, right? Okay, I get the setup…so.�
��

  Sora, having quickly grasped the game system, turned to Ino.

  “Okay, Gramps, if you’ve wedded thirty brides, you’ve got to have banged a few more, right? Go show us your accursed technique that would put Taka Kat*u to shame and, whoosh, snap up that queen for us.”

  “The manner of your wording irks me to no end, Sir, but…”

  “I’m looking forward to seeing these romancing techniques you pride yourself on, Ino Hatsuse,” said the Shrine Maiden to the sour-faced Ino.

  “…Grampy, go for it, please.”

  “Understood! If the Holy Shrine Maiden commands…!”

  Ino responded deferentially to the two voices of encouragement offered, and he turned again to Sora.

  “…Sir, I have till now been listening in silence, but your talk of shooting the horse to shoot the general and of collaborators and informants escapes my understanding entirely.”

  “…Say whaaat?”

  Ino raised his hands and continued despite Sora’s furrowed brow.

  “…Sir, surely you are not considering ignoring the tastes and preferences of a lady and imposing one’s own inclinations—not to speak of feigning the personality the lady seeks—as love?”

  …Frankly, yeah, he was. “Well, that’s what I consider a love sim, at the very least.”

  Ino directed a serious grimace at the choked-for-words Sora. “Hff…I see. In that case, it was indeed wise to entrust this to me. Just as mastering fighting games does not make one a master fighter, mastering romance games does not make one capable of real-life romance.”

  —That was quite right, but somehow the fact that his confidence was based on a mountain of actual sexual achievement was irritating.

  “Sir, I wonder if you see why it is you are a virgin—an unpopular, socially incompetent, hopelessly pathetic young man?”

  “…Old fart, I’m gonna have Jibril warp you beyond the stars.”

  Sora looked at him with a stormy gaze, but Ino paid no mind.

  “There are those who say that romance is a mind game—but then why do you not succeed, Sir?”

  “………Mnrg?”

  —If it was a mind game, Sora ought to have been able to play it far better than Ino. At Ino’s well-reasoned, all-out implicit defense of Sora’s intrinsic ability, Sora swallowed his words.

  “I see. Love takes on a different form for each individual. However…ultimately, it comes down to conveying one’s feelings.”

  Ino fixed keen eyes upon Sora.

  —What lay in those eyes, though, was not the color of disdain. Nor irony, nor hatred, nor pity, nor spite. With eyes that—Sora knew them well, eyes that he had seen directed at him more than he’d cared to admit in his old world—Ino spoke.

  “The words of a charlatan such as yourself, who lives atop a stack of lies, cannot possibly accomplish such a thing.”

  Yes, they were—eyes of distrust.

  “However, there is one thing to be said. It may be a mind game in just one respect—specifically—”

  With these words, Ino looked at his controls and continued.

  “—The first one there wins.”

  Unhesitatingly selecting the “Confess” heart—Ino ran off.

  ““Wha—?!””

  Leaving the stupefaction of Sora & Co. behind—with raging speed that did justice to the physical prowess of Werebeast—Ino charged. The gaze of the dashing Ino, with steps resounded like explosions, fixed on just one thing: the queen on the verge of entering through the school gate—Laila. Toward her back as she walked with an entourage of several NPCs, Ino bellowed:

  “Oh, beautiful young miss! Please pause to hear my tale!”

  At the great voice that evoked thoughts of a knight on a battlefield announcing his name and particulars, the queen slowly turned. The aquamarine of her eyes took in Ino—and she responded.

  “Are you calling me…?”

  —Even these few words were like notes of a melody from heaven.

  “……! Of course!”

  For a moment, Ino forgot the game. Each little word and movement of the beauty before him rushed inward to melt his soul. But, shaking his head, no, no, Ino put strength into his belly.

  —He could fall for her. In fact, he’d have to fall for her. He gritted his teeth and steeled up his eyes.

  —But he couldn’t be sucked in. He must be the one to swallow her…!

  “Fair maiden, forgive me for interrupting you so suddenly. If you have a heart—I would have you hear my words.”

  “My—what’s the matter?”

  The queen flashed a soft smile. It was enough to make Ino feel as if his heart had been grasped and squeezed. He wanted to grab and throw away everything—such was the temptation. The queen’s gaze, the queen’s voice, the queen’s expression, her fair nape. The angle of her fingers nonchalantly put to her chest, the shadow cast by her silkily swaying hair—These things could not be perceived but as an ineffable crown jewel…!

  —Could it be? Ino wondered. That the challengers of the past had been sucked in by the queen’s pulchritude to the point of being unable to express their love? Such beauty. Such violent splendor. Indeed, before such a woman, none of the youngbloods here or there could conceivably say a word. But Ino…returned a soft smile.

  —Not a comfortable smile. Comfort was out of the question. Love was not a mind game—no, it was a battle. The act of smiling was first and foremost a kind of attack—rooted in instinct not unlike a beast baring his fangs.

  Slowly, heavily, Ino went to his knees.

  —Love. He thrust his palms to the heavens as if praying and then smacked them forcefully upon the earth.

  —Love was—He glared at the woman powerfully with both eyes—not a threat. It was a silent declaration of war.

  —A thing to be won. To be taken with one’s own hands. He pressed his palms to the ground, neatly aligned with his knees, and bowed his forehead, his skull with it, deep down…!

  —It left no room for argument. A fine, formal—

  “Please! I beg you! Would you please make hot, passionate love with me for a single nighhht!”

  —genuflection.

  ……

  ““Whaat?””

  —Whose voices were these? Perhaps everyone’s. To say nothing of Sora and crew, the queen gaped, dumbfounded, while Ino heedlessly forged ahead.

  “Since the moment I first laid eyes on you, my heart has boiled like magma. Behold! My pride and joy has risen to the firmness of steel—!!”

  “Eegh…”

  The queen held her breath, lost her smile, and backed away. But Ino raised his voice still louder and pressed on…!

  “Please, please forgive me, queen of the sea! But it is your beauty that is at fault! The very instant I spied you, I have been helpless before this surging impulse to hold and penetrate you! Can you not find it in your heart to grasp the feelings that burn within me!”

  “He’s—he’s genuflecting so hard she doesn’t even have time to cringe?!”

  Sora shivered. Could this, of all things, be the perfect strategy of the man who had taken thirty wives?! As the entire assemblage withered to absolute zero, Ino’s passionate genuflection proceeded unabated.

  “I beg you! I beg you! Let us make love! Let us make hot, passionate love!”

  “Uh, wait, no, I…um…”

  The queen had heard any number of declarations of love from those who had disturbed her dreams since she had consigned herself to slumber. Despite having brushed off every common sort of man, this must have been her first encounter with such a direct approach, for she panicked and scrambled to flee into the school. And yet—!

  “Please wait!”

  Grshh— Ino’s sinewed hand seized the queen’s arm and restrained her.

  “No, hey, let me go—!”

  “I shall not! I shall never let you go! I would that you apprehend the pounding in my chest, the fire in my loins! Though I be but a shriveled old bag of bones, I shall stake my life to ensure th
at you know true satisfaction!!”

  “Nooooooooooooo!!”

  No words. This was verging on criminal—no, actually, this was some straight-up sick shit unfolding right before their eyes. If there were a temperature below absolute zero, that would describe the atmosphere among Sora and his fellow spectators.

  “……Hey, but.”

  Sora, keeping his distance as he watched, fearfully asked the Shrine Maiden…

  “You were saying the old man’s snagged thirty wives with that approach…?”

  “…No, I don’t know. What are you looking at me for?”

  “No, I mean, are Werebeast chicks into that…?”

  “(Are you daft?! I’m as repulsed as you!!)”

  “No, hey, let me go! I said, let me gooo!”

  Shrieking, the queen somehow managed to shake off Ino’s hand. With that, she turned straight around and vanished with a single stroke of her tail, through the crowd and into the building.

  “Please wait, fair queen! Fair queeeeeeeen!!”

  Een…een…—een…—…een—Ino’s heartrending wail resounded through the sea—and faded. The old man, left in the wake of its echo, drooped brokenly and made no move to leave his place.

  —At this sight, all held to their hearts the word despair.

  “…This is freakin’ hopeless.”

  “……”

  —No one refuted Sora’s assessment.

  “…W-well, he still hasn’t been rejected per se, right?”

  Despite Ino’s persistent approach by means of genuflection, the queen still hadn’t officially rejected him. Therefore, technically, the game—the dream—should not have been over… To Sora’s question, Plum haltingly replied:

  “…To begin wiiith, I think the real question is whether you could even consider that a confession of looove…”

  Nodding at Plum’s words, Sora moved on.

  “—’Kay, then why don’t we just go on and play normally for now? Command menu…‘Leave School,’ boop.”